


The Moon Is Beautiful

by Panichi



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Feelings Realization, Fluff, Holding Hands, M/M, They don't like kiss, and it isn't technically a date, but they are vibing, cheek kissing, like kiss kiss, still don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24934720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panichi/pseuds/Panichi
Summary: Shinji and Kaworu are stargazing at night, when Shinji starts to realize what exactly it is he feels towards Kaworu. Will he be able to act out on his feelings, or will he push them down?
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu
Comments: 8
Kudos: 85





	The Moon Is Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> I'm awful at summaries but they hold hands and shit it's supposed to be cute;; I wrote this at like 3am in an hour and it was rough but I wanted to post

‘In other words, I love you,’ Kaworu’s words rang through Shinji’s head when they were both sitting outside, looking up at the night sky. Some time had already passed since it was said, but Shinji could still feel his heart pounding in his chest.

“I’m glad that I can spend the remainder of the day with you, Shinji,” Kaworu turned his head to look over at Shinji with a gentle smile. His eyes held a glint in them, they shone with an emotion that Shinji couldn’t quite place. “I feel content.”

“Right,” Shinji replied pathetically as he felt his face heat up. He felt confused, he’d never felt this way with anyone before. Not when he was alone with a girl, or when Asuka had kissed him. This entire situation, it felt completely different to Shinji. Just being in Kaworu’s presence made him feel flustered and emotional. Constantly, every moment they were together, he could hear the words. In other words, I love you, I love you, I love you.

Shinji sneaked a peak over at Kaworu to notice that he’d turned his eyes back up to the sky, darting back and forth as they locked onto the different stars strung up in space.

He felt his mouth open ever so slightly, trying to reach at words, any words, to try and get his mind off of that one sentence echoing in his mind, but they were just out of his grasp. Shinji could feel his heart beating ever so slightly harder the longer his found himself staring at Kaworu. ‘I think I like you too’ was something he felt his mouth begin to say, but he quickly shot it down. ‘What did you mean, back then’ is another idea that popped into his mind briefly, but he thought it would be far too sudden and off topic.

“You look like you want to say something,” Kaworu spoke up as he caught Shinji’s stare. He smiled that same gentle smile from earlier, one that seemed to hold wisdom and understanding, the type that you would expect from someone much older than the fifteen years of age Kaworu was. “Please speak your mind around me, I want to hear all your thoughts.”

“Well, I was just,” Shinji paused as he felt his face heat up and lowered his gaze to the ground. “Thinking. About, some of the things you’ve said. How they make me… feel.” Shinji looked up through his bangs at Kaworu’s face as he finished.

There was a moment of silence as Kaworu seemed to mull over Shinji’s words. The sudden silence only made Shinji’s face grow hotter as he’d realized just exactly what he’d said to Kaworu, something that he didn’t want to admit to himself, let alone another person.

Kaworu let out a quiet hum before speaking again, “And?” Kaworu’s voice spoke softly, snapping Shinji’s attention back to him. “How does it make you feel, exactly? Tell me everything.”

Shinji racked his brain as he tried to come up with an answer, any answer, something that would please Kaworu, something he would like and be interested in. His hands shook as he clasped them together, twiddling his thumbs anxiously as he tried as hard as he could to find a proper response.

“It makes me feel,” Shinji cut himself off abruptly as he bit his lip. “Feel… happy.”

“What is happiness to you, Shinji?” Kaworu asked with a tilt of his head. “Every human has their own definition, but what is it to you? Some people say that happiness to them is family, acceptance, the relationships they have. You are afraid of others, so you stay away, but everyone has their own sense of happiness. That includes yourself.”

“Happiness…?” Shinji took a deep breath and rolled the question around in his mind before he answered, “I think that… I’m happy when I’m useful. When people want me there. You make me feel like I’m important, like I’m special.” Shinji then reached out his shaky hand and gingerly grabbed Kaworu’s larger one, who immediately held Shinji’s hand back with equal force. “When you say things to me, it makes me happy.”

With his hand still holding Shinji’s, Kaworu quietly moved closer until their shoulders bumped together. Kaworu gave a small smile in Shinji’s direction as he looked at him with that same emotion that Shinji previously couldn’t place. Adoration, regard, affection,  _ love _ .

“Every word I have said to you has been nothing but the truth. From the bottom of my heart, I believe I was born so I could meet you, so I could love you,” the words came from Kaworu full of confidence, a confidence that Shinji knew he’d admired, and yearned for. He found comfort in Kaworu’s big words, his confidence, and his philosophical view on humanity, he truly was something different from any other person that Shinji had ever met in his life.

Shinji swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked down at their connected hands, a reignited flame heating his face as he once again found Kaworu’s words causing a rise of emotion in his chest. He could barely recall anyone telling him that they loved him, but Kaworu was there now, and had told Shinji he loved him not only once, but twice. For the very first time since he was a child, he felt like he was genuinely wanted and loved by someone. Simply being in Kaworu’s presence seemed to erase, at least momentarily, any sort of fear or abandonment that Shinji had been feeling for very well his entire life. It was strange, and it was confusing, but he never wanted to let this feeling go.

Slowly, Shinji raised his head and looked at Kaworu again, for what he felt had to be the umpteenth time that night. When Kaworu flashed that gentle, confident smile Shinji’s way, he felt all the doubt and fear leave his body as he leaned in, placing a sweet kiss on Kaworu’s cheek. He kept his head in place for a moment before he felt the embarrassment begin to sink in, causing his to quickly yank his head away and use his spare hand to cover his face.

“I—sorry—I mean, I didn’t—I just thought, maybe—"

“Shinji, thank you,” Kaworu cut him off as he tightened his grip on Shinji’s hand. “When I see you happy, I think I can feel the same emotion as you are in that moment.”

“What does that mean?”

“I love you.”

With a nervous smile, Shinji fidgeted his feet slightly as he looked up at the moon, hanging in the sky with a waning crescent. “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it…?”

**Author's Note:**

> bruhhhhh


End file.
